PRESENT...

Hey, Beautiful Soul & Happy September!

This month has invited me to PAUSE—to look at where I've been, honor where I am, and, perhaps most importantly, notice how fully I am present for the life unfolding in front of me.

As I've reflected on where I was a year ago and where I am today, I've found myself sitting with a question:

How many moments have I been physically present for—but not truly present in?

Let's PAUSE for a moment here.

Not because I didn't care or because the moments didn't matter. But sometimes I was moving so quickly, carrying so much, and being so much to so many that I wasn't fully connected to myself.

I was there. But was I present?

When Functioning Becomes Autopilot

For me, autopilot is a space and state of BEing where I can be doing all the things while somehow being absent from the experience of them.

Moving, managing, handling, showing up, being everything to everyone—yet not always feeling the feelings or fully experiencing the moments.

I wasn't always balanced or connected—Mind, Body, Spirit & Soul.

For a period of my life, I ran. And because I was capable of carrying a lot, I carried a lot.

Things were getting done. People were being cared for. Responsibilities were being handled. From the outside, that probably looked like strength.

But I've learned something about myself:

My ability to carry something doesn't always mean I am meant to carry it.

And functioning well does not necessarily mean I am BEing well.

There were times when I was so off-center that, even with the people closest to me, I missed the signs, the cues, the subtle shifts, and the moments when greater attention was needed—sometimes required.

Some of what followed wasn't simply something that happened to me. Some of it was connected to my own actions and inactions.

I missed moments because I was moving too fast to notice. I didn't always recognize the needs of others because I wasn't fully connected to my own. And I didn't always honor the whispers from my Mind, Body, Spirit & Soul. There was always something—or someone requiring my attention.

There were consequences to repeatedly placing myself last.

That's not always an easy truth to hold.

But The Work isn't always easy.

Accountability Without Self-Punishment

One of the greatest gifts of this Wellness & Well-BEing journey has been learning that I can look back without going backward.

I can acknowledge what happened without setting up residence there. I can recognize my role in what happened without allowing it to become my identity.

Accountability does not require self-punishment.

Accountability and self-love can exist in the same space.

As I've navigated this month, I've been reminded of moments I might once have replayed differently. Today, I can revisit them without using them as evidence against myself.

Not from shame or self-imposed suffering, but from awareness, love, and a desire to understand what those experiences came to teach me.

I cannot change what I didn't notice then.

But I can become more intentional about what I notice now.

Returning to Forgiveness

Throughout my Wellness & Well-BEing journey, I've returned again and again to Ho'oponopono:

I Love You. I'm Sorry. Please Forgive Me. Thank You.

Today, those words hold an even deeper meaning because sometimes the person I need to make peace with is me.

I Love You—for who you were then, who you are now, and who you are continuing to BEcome.

I'm Sorry—for the times I placed you last while trying to hold everything—and everyone—else together. For confusing being capable with having endless capacity.

Please Forgive Me—for the moments I heard your whispers and kept moving anyway. For the times your Mind, Body, Spirit & Soul asked for attention and I said, later.

Thank You—for staying with me. For continuing to speak, teach, and call me home to myself.

And thank You, God, for the grace to recognize today what I couldn't always recognize before.

Forgiveness doesn't require me to pretend something didn't happen. It allows me to honor what happened without allowing it to determine what happens next.

The Work IS the Practice

I often share with my clients that doing The Work doesn't mean life stops presenting opportunities to practice what we've learned.

I've found quite the opposite.

Life gives us another conversation, another boundary, another relationship, another trigger, another moment when something inside whispers... PAUSE.

The Work is recognizing that moment and reaching into the Wellness Toolbox for what we need—perhaps Reiki, breathwork, journaling, prayer, a boundary, an Agreement, or a Reiki Principle.

And sometimes, I simply need to become still enough to notice.

I need enough presence to recognize what the moment is asking of me.

Maybe you've experienced your own version of autopilot.

Maybe you've become so accustomed to handling life that you haven't noticed how much of it you're simply moving through. Maybe you've been showing up for everyone while slowly becoming disconnected from yourself.

Maybe there was a cue, a feeling, a conversation, or a need—and something within you whispered... PAUSE.

But you kept moving.

Beautiful Soul, if you're recognizing something as you read this, don't use that awareness against yourself.

Awareness is an invitation to return. To listen. To feel. To notice. To choose. To BE present.

And if you feel called to remain in this PAUSE a little longer, I invite you to experience my guided Reiki meditation as a space to return to yourself.

Another Opportunity

I cannot return to every moment I missed.

And I don't need to.

I can honor yesterday by becoming more present today. I can notice the cue, feel the feeling, take the PAUSE, make the repair, and choose differently.

I can make time to smell the roses that are blooming in front of me now.

Life isn't always roses. But even in the midst of life's storms, there can be moments of peace and stillness—sacred spaces inviting us to learn, reflect, heal, expand, and grow.

Perhaps Evolving isn't about reaching a place where we never miss another moment.

Perhaps it's about learning to return to ourselves sooner when we do.

Because awareness gives us another opportunity—to PAUSE. To listen. To choose.

To BE present.

And to remember:

I AM ENOUGH—even while I am still Evolving.

Beautiful Soul, sometimes the stillness IS The Work.

With Grace, Gratitude, & Love,

Zendalannette 🌹

Wellness & Well-BEing Architect | Reiki Master

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